Whenever I see a site name like Biohazard Bitches, I get all tingly inside.  Is this gonna to be the one, I ask myself, the veritable Xanadu of internet porn.  For a site to qualify as “a vision,” a site for all other smut destinations to emulate, it can not only be extremely hardcore, but it must also be creative, have content unfathomable to lesser pages. 

I am glad to report that Biohazard Bitches aspires for this lofty rank.  As soon as I entered the member’s area, I was impressed with its pictures of hot blonds licking toiled seats and bent over brunettes taking wood in the ass, and I’m not referring to man wood—I’m talking about the pine handle of a toilet plunger used as rectal depth gage. 

My jaw rarely hits the floor surfing porn, but I found my gapped mouth salivating as I watched video after video of the most depraved sexual acts the brain can fart out.  We have vicious double ass penetrations, throat suffocating blowjobs, rabid salad tossing, gushing creampies, and choking facials.  The cum really hits the fan!  With big names like Vixen, Audrey Hollander, and Tori Lane filling out the content, it’s a safe bet that any hardcore fan will walk away from this site with a heavy hand and an empty sack.

An award winner, Ashley Renee knows her subject matter.  She is a Bondage Maven of the highest order.  She has been a central figure in this scene for twenty years, with over a hundred titles to her credit. 

A submissive master of continually stunning work, she is a contradiction in binding couture.   

Her site showcases her vivid work.  She is in her element in either a dungeon or an art-house setting, mixing pain and pleasure in unequal parts.  One hardly knows if she is cumming or going. 

Wrapped in plastic, bound in leather, gagged, hogtied, or strung up- she is something to behold.  Her scenes can be both dynamic and subtle, her language complex and intriguing.  She invokes curiosity with awe in the peripheral. 

I will not pretend to understand her, that would be a mistake.  I do, however, love watching her work, a true professional in action. 

Understatement is a rare thing in the porn universe; even in the civilian world, resisting sexual exaggeration flies in the face of basic programming.  This is why the fetish site Crazy Spandex Girls is such a gem.  All things being equal, this messed up destination should really be called Stupid Loco Insane Deranged Mad Mind-Fuck Outlandish Spandex Alien Girls instead of its current moniker.

I’ve seen some strange shit in my smut reviewing tenure, but these broads take the cake.  To begin with, full body latex suits are the norm here; patterned, printed, matte, or metallic, every conceivable configuration is well represented.  Then add extreme contortionism on top of this, throw in a dash of abstract expressionism, and attach a heavy dose of surrealism, only now are you getting close to what you can expect in this brilliant, over-the-top, website. 

That action is generally softcore, lots of naked posing, some masturbation, some toy play, but the vast amount of the content can be considered art-house/documentary style crank. Now I can’t stress this enough, the stars of this site are absolutely breathtaking, perfect 10s, no exceptions.

Speculum Plays is a website that takes playing doctor to a strange new level.  Regardless if you’re an aspiring gynecologist, confirmed pervert, or simply a curious bugger, this vag revealing destination will surely satisfy your curiosity and then some. 

Personally, I’ve never given much thought to what, exactly, the inside of a pussy looks like; pink and wet is all I’ve ever needed to know.  Now, thanks to Speculum Plays, I’ve seen it all.  If you’re unfamiliar with this particular medical device, it’s basically a hollow tube designed to keep a vagina gaped.  Romantic, isn’t it.

And let me tell ya, it’s a brave new world in there.  Naturally, every stretched twat is put to good use.  I have two words for you: baseball bat.

Freaks of Porn is the first “bizarre” site I’ve seen which actually lives up to its designation.  Sure, all internet porn is a bit strange; two cocks stuffed in one vagina is sure to raise an eyebrow.  But this stuff—Man, where to begin?

I know.  There’s a little scene involving this blond hiker and a dildo monster.  This fucking thing is bigger than a grizzly bear and looks like an upright centipede but with dicks for legs.  For some unknown reason, this girl goes hog wild for the hideous creature, trying to suck and fuck its many gore adorned bell-heads.  She does a good job of it two, taking two in the pink and one in the stink.  But the real kicker is when a real dick emerges from the alien’s maw.  First the honker blows a huge load in her face, then it pissing in her mouth.  Wow! 

It’s like live action Hentai. 

Other scenes are equally as weird, if you can believe it.  Generally, the pattern seems to be hot chicks fucking, or getting fucked, by Halloweenish horrors.  I must be losing my mind because the sex, despite the insanity, is pretty banging, hardcore all the way. 

Just when you thought you had seen it all…

Fetish Transformation provides a window into the bizarro universe of cosplay (costume play), extreme kink, and avant-garde smut.  

Have you ever wondered about Sailor Moon’s anus, or what live-action lesbian mannequins might do behind closed doors; well, I’ve got good news for you, Fetish Transformation has got your freaky-deeky curiosities covered.

Here we’ve got naked femme-lizards, silver surfer skanks, gold statue sluts, alien cooze contortionists, anime exhibitionists, and disturbingly anthropomorphic lady-bears.  Simply put, it’s a fucked up free-for-all.    

The action is generally a lot of posing, garnished with a light touch of masturbation—it’s definitely softcore.  The videos could almost be considered documentary style, the chronicling of an outlandish makeover. 

“Honey, We Blew Up Your Pussy.”  No, this isn’t another Rick Moranis movie; it’s the banner for Kick Ass Pussy Pump, a site dedicated to ballooned cunts.  How, you ask.  How indeed! 

Basically, they have this medical-grade suction device which they use to literally puff-out the labia majora and menorah into this frontal bum looking thing.  Sounds crazy, I know—IT IS! 

Once these biggie sized slits are inflated, they get the usual porn treatment.  Man, do these engorged holes ride tight, all swollen in near perfect circle.  I have to admit, at first I was taken aback by these bulbous snatches, but then I was like: “Wow, this is different.  Yes…. Yes… I like it.”

The girls are hot and the action is pounding, two qualities which make Mr. Thick Dick a happy customer.

Ghetto Confessions is one of the strangest sites I’ve ever had the pleasure of reviewing.  The content: actually interviews with crack whores and fucked-up prostitutes.  Let me tell you, this is sordid and vile stuff, and consequencely, interesting as hell. 

The ladies, as you can imagine, are broken disgusting skanks; their ages, any one’s guess; they look sixty, but could very well be forty.  Hard living and hard fucking has taken its toll on these fallen women, with wild eyes and grassy hair, these broads have seen better days. 

In each scene, half the time is spent learning the foul (and amusing) details of a street hooker’s life; the drugs, the dangers, the sex, the money, and- of course- the drugs.  The other half of the time our noble cameraman/interviewer, Cracker Jack, gets blown; these down-and-out ladies go to work in the only trade they know- cock sucking.  It’s certainly not an interrogation technique you’d see on 60 Minutes, but it’s definitely an in-depth approach.

Electricity brought the Monster (Frankenstein) to life; apparently, it has the same effect on vaginas.  Meet Dr. Sparky: he is your mad scientist, your compulsive experimenter, a pervert of the highest order, and one hell of a screw.  His tools channel the force of pure energy; igniting pain and pleasure in equal parts, making ladies twitch with pleasure and moan in acute ecstasy. 

It would seem that the Doctor has quite the following.  He has no shortage of available women for his twisted dominations; young and old, blond and brunette, white and black, all women are fair game, in turn they each get to feel his lighting touch and taser cock.  Needless to say, he is one crazy, fun-to-watch dude. 

Some of his kit I’ve never seen before; there’s gynecological equipment, objects of his own invention, and other assorted toys, shocking dildos, low voltage ticklers, butt plugs, etc.  He puts on quite the show; you actually get to see the blue electricity licking the skin.  Spooky.

Picture the dirtiest, sleaziest, creepiest, raunchiest sex imaginable and take one step back; look around, you’re in Mandy country.  I think kinky is the wrong word to describe this leather clad fisting aficionado—deranged would be more accurate, lesbian hell kitten even better.  But no, to call Mandy a fetish dyke would be misleading; this skank does it all. 

Double penetration?  You better believe it… and then some.  Creampie?  Hell, she could win a creampie eating contest.  BDSM?  For starters.  Vampire dungeon rape?  An average Tuesday.  If it exists, Mandy has found a way to fuck it.  But fisting is what really separates this cooze from the rest of the pack.

Giving or taking, she is all about the five knuckle plunger.  Mandy is Kinky, an understatement if I ever heard one.