When you’re this big, they call you mister. 

Before I get into the nuts and bolts of this report, first I want to clear something up: there are three kinds of big dick.   The first type I like to refer to as your-buddy’s-big-dick; there’s no denying it, the fucker’s bigger than yours.  Like my Uncle Fart used to say, “You never know who’s going to get one.”  The next type of wang is the porno industry’s standard, they’re thick, long, and generally hard; they start at 8 and go from there.  Girth is primarily what they have over your buddy’s gagger, that and they’re cut.  The last and final rod is the fabled monster cock; these behemoths break the foot barrier, and I have found in my extensive research that they usually belong to brothers, but not exclusively (there’s a handful of white dudes that have truly stupendous Johnsons).  But I digress.

With black guys sporting mean 2L pop cocks, Mr. BiggZ falls smartly into the last group.  These are formidable dicks, the bane of tight holes aplenty.  Luckily, the women that take these midnight anacondas to task are up for the challenge.  They play hide the feed-my-family-for-the-winter salami with crass and distinction. 

Needless to say, the action is hardcore interracial smut; cavities are stretched and nuts are blown in an all out assault on scale.   

Every guy as some point in his life has exaggerated the size of his member. 

“Oh yeah, dude.  I’m like a good foot.” 

“Too bad for you man, I got you beat by two mean inches.”

“Okay, but I’ve got girth like can of coke.”

Lies, but hey, what if it were true?  With billions of men on the earth, you know a few of them must have dicks that hang pass their knees.  Sounds nice in conversation, but the reality of the situation is quite different.  They don’t call them monsters for nothing.  First of all, you have to find a gal that won’t run out of the door as soon as the beast is sprung from its cage.  Secondly, you have to jimmy that fucker in somewhere.  Lube?  Yes please.  Advil?  Make it an oxycontin. 

This is not a completely accurate picture; there are a few gals out there that won’t even look at anything under eight.    Way to give us regular guys a complex. 

Pornstars Like It Big, I wonder why?  Could it have something to do with their monstrous thick-dick tolerance, a condition similar to a drug tolerance as in the more you do, the less it works, and consequently, the more you need.    I think it’s fair to say that the average pornstar has stuffed hundreds of badass schlongs into her greedy vag—if not thousands!  So when a pornstar is in the mood for an UBER SCREW, naturally the dude better be sporting a veiny foot, and I’m not taking about the kind you put in a shoe. 

Luckily for them, and I suppose luckily for us as well, L.A. is a hotbed for such talent, big dicks being drawn to the West coast by promises of pleasure and guarantees of good times. 

At this point you are probably curious about who the lucky starlets are; we have Amy Reid rocked by an albino anaconda, Brooke Belle pounded by a perilous penis most massive, we have Puma Swede held up by a cum-loaded howitzer, we have Harmony Rose swallowing a stomach scrapping broadsword, and this list goes on and on.     

Here’s the scene: it’s Sunday morning, Sara Jay, a Milf with a massive rack, arrives home from a weekend at the cottage.  Low and behold, a dozen of her son’s friends are crashed-out in her living room.  She surveys the sleeping bodies.  Something catches her eye.  It can’t be, she thinks to herself.  One of the snoring revelers has a HONKING COCK; it’s so big she can trace its entire length under his thick jeans.  Christ Almighty, the thing’s head is almost tucked into his back packet.

“Everybody out,” Sara screams.  The kids file out of the front door, one by one.  Johnny Big Dick lingers the longest, no doubt weighed down by his massive member.  Sara sees an opportunity and takes it, slamming shut the door before he can exit, leaving the two of them alone.  In moments, Johnny’s sperm-hose is out; Sara nearly dislocates her jaw getting it into her mouth.  The action gets a whole lot more nasty from here.  Let me put it this way; later this day, Sara will be making an emergency appointment with her proctologist.

This is what you can expect in Milfs Like It Big, giant dicks slaying cock-sucking vets.  The boobs are enormous and the schlongs are sky high, the perfect ingredients for a hardcore cluster fuck.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had 13 inches of cock.  Would I use my endowment for good or would I use it for evil?  Would I control it or would it control me?  If I went for a long drive, would it ride shotgun?  If it got cold would it shrink to a paltry 9?  Needless to say, 13 fat inches would irrevocably change my life; from mild mannered man to pipe laying monster, it would undoubtedly be a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Huge Dick situation. 

Alas, it was not meant to be.  Luckily, I can still dream, or better yet, make a b-line to Black Pipe Layers, a site utterly devoted to hung brothers and the holes they love to murder. 

I want to give a heads-up to all of the proctologists and gynecologists on the West coast; the hot ladies filing into your waiting rooms are not a sign of a benevolent god; rather, they are proof that no hole is too small and no dick is too big.

As a professional porn critic, I see a lot of big dicks.  If you balanced, head to balls, all the cocks I observe in the average day, the final product would be 20 stories tall (Now that’s a phallic tower!).  Without exaggeration, tens of thousands of penises have popped in my media player; my monitors have displayed so much jizz, I wouldn’t be surprised if my hard drive was pregnant—hell, my mouse probably has the clap.  So believe me when I tell you, Racks and Blacks is a site brimming with KING KONG COCKS, dicks more than big enough to make a prehistoric bison blush. 

Naturally, you can’t pit a normal pair of breasts against these behemoths—absolutely not!  You throw at them the fattest double Ds you can find, and that’s just for starters. 

These trouser leviathans need ambitious women to handle their fury, women not afraid of a few stretch marks here and there.  Luckily, Racks and Blacks has talent on both sides of the fence; giant schlongs in one corner and accommodating cock-sluts in the other—it’s a match made in big wad heaven.

I don’t know if a foot and a half of cock can be considered a good thing, but it’s certainly noteworthy- hell, it’s news worthy. 

“This just in, a man with an 18 inch gagger has been spotted in the entertainment district.  He claims his intentions are innocent, but several stretch-marked women have made contradictory statements.  He is black, 5 foot 10” and has been known to walk with a limp which changes legs depending on which pant leg his member is stowed.  Women endowed with wide set vaginas have been spotted heading towards downtown in droves.  Traffic will be slow getting into the city tonight…”

When god was handing out HUGE DICKS, I guess the brothers got there first.  This is not to say that there wasn’t a few extra gaggers laying around for the other races, I'm  just saying that black dudes, by the numbers, have an unproportionate number of King Kong cocks. 

And in these honored ranks, a select few have truly stupendous man-sausages, schlongs enviable even amongst their brethren.

Mighty Rods, the website, is stacked with such badass ballers.  In this big dick destination only the most honking cast-iron cocks make the final cut.  Naturally, sluts are drawn to these meat-poles like moths to a flame, putting on a mean ten pounds in a multiplicity of ways, oral, vaginal, and anal being the big three.

What is a “Big Cock,” an easy enough question, right?  Believe it or not, penises are mysterious creatures, schooled in the arts of both stealth and deception.  For example, let us consider what I like to call Transformers; these members are indubitably “more than meets the eye.”  Flaccid they aren’t much to write home about, scared little things, ranging a few inches.  But put a tight slit in front of them—insert sound effect—and what was small is now giant, worthy of cheer and salutation; “a grower, not a shower,” my Uncle Fart was known to call them. 

There are more cases in point, but that will have to wait for another time.  In the site Her First Big Cock we are presented with unambiguous MONSTERS, whole cow sausages, as in, it take an entire cow to make one of these fuckers.   Metaphors aside, I would place most of these dongs at a full foot, thick as a can of coke at the base. 

It almost seems cruel that these leviathans are slated to penetrate novice poon… it almost seems cruel.   It’s actually fucking amazing, watching these chicks’ eyes light up in pain, surprise, and ecstasy.  It may be uncomfortable at first, but boy, do they get use to it in a hurry, moaning and begging for more before long.  Her First Big Cock will certainly not be her last.

It seems unjust, even cruel, that not all cocks are created equal.  How can a little fella compare to a monstrous member; there’s no contest, a girthy ten will dominate a slim four in any situation—it’s simple physics.  Sure, some may argue that it’s how you use it that counts; of course, you would never hear this from a well hung dude, or from his women for that matter.  Plainly stated, Big Cocks are a cooze’s kryptonite, lesser dongs need not apply.    

In porn, this point is explicitly clear; ladies just love the LD (long dick).  The aptly named site, Big Cocks, drives this assertion home, no pun intended.  In a wondrous display of muff and meaty might, this content is a personal affront to those shortchanged in the dick department. 

With names like Juliana Kincaid, Stacy Thorn, and Mia Bangg taking titanic totem pole vaginally, orally, and anally, it’s no wonder why Big Dick porn is the Heracles of the smut pantheon.   Pussys are murdered, assholes are stretched, and jawbones are unhinged; it’s all the best qualities of hardcore XXX neatly jammed into one hole, I mean niche.  Giggity!