Trust me, Mr. Claus’ Christmas wish is to ride caboose in the Ass Parade. This procession is what it is, a cavalcade of bulbous butts in action.  Sometime they get reamed, sometimes the brown eyes simply wink as the rhyme of the bounce permits, but you can bet your bottom dollar that these gals get their cocks-on in every way. 

The fellas at Bang Bros know their audience and deliver spot on swag.  These fine tailed amateurs smoke sausage like a meat curing factor, one after another.  You can actually hear the bum cheeks clapping against ball skin as they ride bronco. 

There are two kinds of backdoor beauty, one that permits you to fuck them in the ass, and one that requests it.  Both are good, but obviously the latter is fair better.  It’s the difference between her being still and waiting for you to finish, to her being active and bucking your junk deeper and deeper, eyes rolling back in ecstasy all-the-while. 

Can you guess what type of girl we get in Butt Fetish?  Both, actually!  (It was a trick question.)   That’s right, some of these gals enjoy a backhoe more than others.  That being said, I would say at least 75% of these babes are anal sex enthusiasts, as in, after a long day of filming anal scenes, they go home to beg their boyfriends and/or husbands for another round of rectal pipe-cleaning.

Needless to say, porno doesn’t get raunchier than this.   Not only do we have a full plate of balls deep buggery, we have sides of double penetration, ass to mouth, and gaped anuses.  Now that’s a hungry man’s meal!

There’s nothing like hosing down a nice dry girl with your sperm pipe.  With double DDs and big round bottom, how long are you really going to last with a perfect big tit?  Skin is flailing, juices are flowing, and guess what?  You’re busting!  That’s all right, in a few moments you’ll be ready to go again.  Looking at her jugs is already rousing your loins for the second cumming.  Man-o-man, she is one fine piece of tail.  She might be your end.  But hey, if you gotta go, go with a smile.

Large breasted, big ass women of the world, we adore you.  Huge Knockers are the acme of femininity.  They are a trump card, the override, the reason and excuse.  Oil them, feed them milk, silicone, whatever, just don’t ever lose them.

Big Tits Round Asses understands our lust for quality and they have selected only the finest peaches for their content.

Big Wet Butts; this is a case where practicality and aesthetics are in perfect harmony.   Straight up, a heavily oiled rump is one of nature’s most inviting sights, with its shinning symmetry and glistening crack.  And to hell with lubing that cock up with spit, greased lightening slides where it wants—despite size and other restraints. 

Awe-inspiring anal is what you can look forward to in Big Wet Butts, compliments of our favorite condiment: astroglide.  Believe me when I tell you, nothing works better than a well lubricated machine.  Think about it, would you drive your car without oil in the engine?  Exactly.  The same principle is true here.  These buxom bottoms are railed deep, hard, and fast, a marvel of modern-day buggery.

And with an all-star cast, be assured, these rectal rides are world class.  Savannah Gold puts in an Oscar winning performance.  Her flawless white can is evidence of divine powers in play; her godly backdoor, her holiest of holes, effortlessly swallows thick dick by the furlong, her cheeks quivering with each widening inch.  Wow!

Boobs and Bottoms are to men what sunlight and earth is to trees; absolutely fucking mandatory.  Would you be able to survive in a world without those bodacious curves and cleavages?  Of course not, life would be futile, like building a log house on the surface of Venus, it just wouldn’t work.  

Luckily, the planet Earth has no shortage of great tits and fuckable asses, which brings us back to the site in question, Boobs and Bottoms.  This big tit and buxom butt destination is brimming with top notch tighties.  With names like Gianna, Eva Angelina, Brittany Burke, and Savanah Gold rounding out the content, ball busting adventures in Crevice Town are guaranteed. 

Slathered with baby-oil, nut buttered, or simply served a la carte, these busty pornstars masterfully fuck and suck to their cunt’s content, which is saying a lot considering that every last one of them is a bona fide nymphomaniac.  Giggity Giggity Goo!

I remember trying out for the junior basketball team in high school as if were yesterday; running drills, learning fundamentals, being penalized for poor ball handling.  Strangely enough, Bubble Butt Tryouts is a site which shares many similarities with this experience, the main difference of course being that the ladies are vying for buxom bottom supremacy, rather than, well, basketball.   Here the drills, as I’m sure you can imagine, involve being drilled doggie style; learning the fundamentals also involves being drilled doggie style; and as for being-penalized-for-poor-ball-handling, the punishment fits the crime: balls deep doggie, drill style.               

Needless to say, the asses are round and the assholes are anal enabled.  With pornstars like Claire Dames, Mia Bang, Cody Lane, and Katja Kassin exemplifying the talent, be assured, the booty within is world class. 

Simply put, all the bases are covered; it’s like an ass Ikea in here.  We have shinny butts, matte butts, pale butts, tanned butts, brown butts, and winking butts.  After much deliberation, it looks like every ass makes the cut.  Well done, girls.

I’m not going to hide it from you, I’m hung-over as hell; my eyes are red, I reek of gin (despite the fact that I wasn’t drinking gin last night), and my brain is as functional as a square tire.  So why am I here, at work, when I should be home in bed jerking myself to a semblance of sanity?  I’ll tell you why, one reason: White Curvy Asses.  I knew if I flaked-out, I would be denying myself an opportunity to watch great porn. 

And I was right!  The first video I played had this pale and beautiful brunette being stuffed sideways by three black cocks.   Thinking that this may have been a fluke, I played another clip; again, mega penetrations, Leah Luv being skewered by a brother’s über schlong.  I kept on going; Brandy Dallas, sodomized; Hillary Scott, gaped; Staci Thorn, ass stretched; Missy Monroe, throat fucked with a 12 inch gagger.  Did I ever make the right call, dragging my sorry self to the office.

Without a doubt, White Curvy Asses has saved my day from hang-over hell.  Sure, my eyes are still the colour of a fire truck, and my breathe could wilt a flower, and by no means should I get behind the wheel of a car, but at least now I have this hard-on in my pants kicking ass like Chuck Norris and stretching jeans like Rosie O’Donnell, and suddenly, explicitly, life doesn’t seem so cruel. 

In one word: Volume.   This site advertises access to 16 other sites for the low price of one, while actually granting access to 21 sites.  And yes, each site is the real thing, deserving of its own independence and price. 

Nothing gets a red-blooded man harder than a woman’s ass.  I once heard a story about a foot solider that had an arm cleaved in battle, and dying on the ground, still jerked-off to an exposed femme-bum across the way with his remaining good hand (it was a coed skirmish).  

Straight up, us fellas are bonkers for butts.  You can actually observe the intelligence leaving our brains and flying out the window as soon as a lady rump is unveiled.  It is this very reason why I’m having so much trouble reviewing Solo Butts; the mahogany in my pants is screaming for immediate action, drowning out all critical thought.  

With top dollar dames like Maya Hills and Emma Cummings spreading cheeks and stuffing crack, it is a certainty that this porn will turn your crank regardless if you’re sitting in your office, at home in your den, or bleeding to death on an ancient battlefield.

Booty is back… with a vengeance! 

Allow me to introduce Foxy Black Butts, a site devoted to round asses and the slutty sisters that they belong to.   To be completely honest, the last time I saw this many bubble-licious bottoms, I was at a Sir Mix A Lot concert, hallucinating on ten hits of acid (or at least I thought I was; it turned out that they were duds and the neon cavalcade of cans doing the can-can were actually part of the show).

Now before you jump to conclusions about this very specific niche-site, not all African rumps are cast from the same mold.  We have caramel cracks, taupe tushies, brown bums, bronzed behinds, chocolate cheeks, black ass, and double albino-black ass.  And although a copious amount of time is dedicated to doggie, we are treated to the whole hardcore spectrum.

So lock your doors and drop your draws, it’s open season in Spank Town.